A senior executive arrived on our call with frustration, agitation, and…hope.

The need to fire a key leader in their organization had been brewing for at least a year.  They had invested an enormous amount of time and energy evaluating their options while seeing the damage to morale and productivity spreading.

The Rational Checklist

They ensured alignment on the firing within their executive leadership team.  They consulted with their legal counsel.  They determined the loss did not put the organization in a vulnerable position.

The decision was made to exit the leader immediately because the Executive Director was leaving the country for a week.

The Painful Reality

A broad array of emotions have been stirred up by the time we make the decision to fire someone.  So many that it can be difficult to recall the positive contributions they’ve made over their tenure.

Disappointment. Anger. Frustration.

Antagonism. Vengefulness. Aggression.

Fear. Anxiety. Withdrawal.

What We’ve Learned

Emotional Intelligence has taught us to be aware of our feelings so that we can manage them.

Neuroscience has taught us about the physiology of emotions, encouraging us to feel our feelings all the way through because they only need a few minutes to move through our bodies.

The Deeper Truth

Beneath some of the emotions that we are able to acknowledge, there are often even more painful feelings lurking undetected.

Grief. Regret.

Apathy. Hopelessness.

Guilt. Blame.

The Power of Acceptance

What we may not have learned is the power of not only acknowledging but actually accepting these negative emotions.

We often judge ourselves for being angry, which leads to regret and self-blame.  These emotions are worse than the feelings of anger.

And, we don’t realize that difficult emotions are often unconsciously connected to past experiences, possibly long ago, that haven’t been fully processed.

Opportunity for Healing

Practicing kindness and compassion, with ourselves and each person involved, can open the door for growth and healing.

We have an opportunity to move through the emotions with courage, intention, and forgiveness.

When we let go of what is no longer working, we create space for new possibilities, new growth for everyone involved…including the leader being fired.

New Possibilities, New Growth

I bought new flowers and potting soil for the planters on my balcony last Thursday.  Each day I looked at the beautiful blossoms in their little plastic temporary pots knowing I needed to get them planted.

But I didn’t want to deal with digging out the old plants, the dead roots.

It’s messy. It’s hard work. It makes my lower back ache.

But I could see the potential in the blooms waiting to be planted. They inspired me to invest the time and energy to prepare the space needed for what I wanted to grow.

Overnight I can see the difference.  The plants have greater stability, security.  They have what they need to grow.

How Can We Ease The Emotional Pain Of Firing?

Acknowledge and accept the full range of emotions that are present.

This validation creates greater agency to move forward without unprocessed feelings impacting our communication and our behaviors.

Allow the potential of who and what will blossom to inspire you not only to action but to deeper feeling.

If you’d like insights into your unique creative problem-solving strengths and how our Customized Team Leadership Programs could help your team, we’d love to talk with you. You can find more information at InnovationSavvy.com or